Twins development: what's special about it?

Twins development

For a long time, the twins development has been studied by comparing it with that of other children. Yet being born to a twin brother or sister can influence their unique psychological development.

Can we develop in the same way when we are a “real” twin when we are biologically unique? For a long time, the scientific community avoided the question, focusing more on the similarities that twins exhibited.
Therefore, the conclusion was rather unfavorable that twins, unlike single children, developed language, abstraction and other cognitive abilities with systematic delay.This is a mistake: we know today that twins have a development of their own and that it is t, therefore, possible to model it on that of unique children.
Indeed, they go through some additional stages, which will allow them to develop their personality and eventually lead them to autonomy. The course of empowerment of the twins actually involves three phases: the fusional stage, in which the twins are as welded to each other, undifferentiated.
Then comes the stage of complementarity, where distinct roles are attributed to the twins. Finally, the stage of autonomy, which looms in adolescence, with the first love relationships.

Twin fusion

From birth to age two, twins go through a natural stage called “twinning”. This is a direct consequence of the parents’ need to care for two children simultaneously. Since they do not want to hurt one child in relation to the other, the parents offer the two children the same thing: they bring a common and not individual answer to the needs of the little ones. The two children thus become one entity.
It is the presence of this “twin entity” that explains why twins have a certain delay (from six to ten months) in terms of emotional and cognitive maturity compared to other children: twins interact less with their environment, and more with each other.

complementarity

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Between the age of two and six, twins enter the second stage of their development: complementarity. From that moment, parents begin to respond to their children’s requests individually. Often, at this age, the needs of children will indeed be different, even opposed.
It is not uncommon to notice significant differences: one of the twins is angry, while his brother is docile. One prefers desserts, while the other likes salty. They say they are complementary – like a couple! It is often at this time that parents begin to insist on a skill (painting, music, drawing, singing) that will probably be different for each of the twins, creating an asymmetry.
One of the twins will learn from his brother’s or sister’s learning, which can be seen as a stage of “interference with cognitive development”. This complementarity can appear at the physical level, at this stage, there are more battles between the two. They are testing themselves, putting their forces to the test.
Sometimes their oppositions can be very virulent, even violent, but they will not hurt themselves and once the conflict is settled, they will start playing together again, as if nothing had happened.

 Language delay and cryptophasia

It is during the period of complementarity that sometimes appears the phenomenon of cryptophasia, designating a proper language that the twins build to communicate with each other, and that the entourage fails to break through.
It was at the end of the 1950s that this phenomenon was first brought to light by two Russian psychologists, Alexandre Louria and F. Yudovich. They had studied two twins abducted in a totally symbiotic way and who had developed a structured language, with a lexicon and syntax apart. This unique language allowed them to understand each other without anyone else getting there!
Such a phenomenon is extremely rare, but a language delay is not uncommon. When one of the twins learns a word, he repeats it with certain deformations. The other twin learns the distorted word of his brother or sister. Each of the twins has, so to speak, a bad model at his side.

Dominant and dominated

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From that moment, parents must start thinking about how to separate their children, especially in the school context. It is thought that separation should not occur when the twins are in the middle of a period of complementarity unless an important dominant and dominated relationship is established between them.
Such a relationship exists in all twins, but it is fluctuating: it changes according to situations, activities and moments. In one situation or another, one takes the lead, while in another context, it is his brother or sister who leads. If one of the twins is still in charge, we could decide to separate them more quickly.

Age of autonomy

Around the age of six, including school entry, twins begin to be considered unique individuals. From that moment, they reach a phase of autonomy that allows them to develop skills and preferences. Any delays that may have been observed in early childhood tend to be reversed.
At that time, they will begin to help each other, especially in terms of homework and some learning. They ask each other and become a “knowledge developer” for each other. If one progresses, the other is inspired by it.

 Adolescence

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Admission into adolescence is the last stage of twins development: that of complete autonomy. This autonomy is built because of the need to set up a space so that “other” can enter the couple. Indeed, at this age, each of the twins seeks to establish a specific emotional and emotional connection with a third person.
This new relationship, loving and sexual, will be totally different from what has been lived until now with the brother or sister. It represents the completion of assertiveness as an individual.
This duo does not display the twin link but allows both twins to develop another relationship. In addition to having to separate from their parents, the twins must also separate from their cotwin. They could, therefore, experience an additional crisis since they will need to redefine their relationship.
It is also important to note that, as a teenager, having a twin can be very beneficial. Among other things, twins develop an increased sense of empathy. More attentive to the feelings of others, they are often more able to enter groups. Moreover, in this troubled period of adolescence, they have something rare: someone to confide in, someone to whom they can seek advice.